People watching the drama on my Facebook page and my friends’ after one fake account and then another is constantly harassing and attacking us and someone said it’s my fault because I gave my ex a sense that no matter what he did I would always give him another chance. I accept that. I bumped up his ego and expectations. Difference is then I always left some channel of communication open.
Not anymore. I even figured how to block him from emailing. Blocked everywhere I could block him.
Then the fake accounts started. Initially they targeted just me but a few fierce ladies jumped to my defense and subsequently became targets too.
Hopefully this mayhem ends soon.
Abusive relationships are the craziest thing that those who haven’t experienced never understand. They don’t start off or even soon become scary or alarming. They begin as an amazing, whirlwind love that takes you by storm and seems perfect. Until they are not and you feel hooked into believing you can improve this great love that has become a great nightmare.
The mistaken misconception to the victim is the constant memory of the amazing person they thought they fell in love with. There’s a hope that at some point the nightmare of a person you are suddenly dealing with can somehow be the original amazing person.
Life in an abusive relationship doesn’t have happy endings. There are happy moments. There are terrifying moments. The terrifying moments are usually followed with a “we shouldn’t have done that” or “we shouldn’t have acted like that.”
There are instigating situations where you finally react but it’s with an audience, either in person or via video or audio. They supposedly have some kind of evidence always to use against you so that you can lose your child, lose your home, lose your friends/family, etc.
You end up always wondering what will set them off next and when. You go from being confident and lively to constantly on edge. What if you get a text or a phone call from anyone at the wrong moment? What if over crisp the chicken? What if you just catch them while they are paranoid?
I terribly regret the time I wasted and lost while lost in that nightmare. I regret that my friends have become targets of personal attacks by someone hiding behind fake names on a computer. I regret I am hyper vigilant to the red flags I ignored previously.
I don’t regret coming public about my experience and the attacks. I have no plans to stop being critical of red flags ever again.
The happy ending from surviving abuse is the surviving and thriving afterwards. Without the people who became involved without choice, my friends, who have rebuilt my voice and well-being, I don’t know how I would be me now. Thank you! ❤️
Final note: many people don’t survive abusive relationships. Death via domestic violence and suicide to escape is very real and very prevalent. If you think someone is in a bad and potentially abusive relationship then be kind and helpful and offer assistance. Remind the person how worthy of better they are and how they are not themselves lately. You will not be able to immediately convince them that they need to escape and go “no contact.” It takes time. It then takes time to recover and heal from the thoughts that they got used to, scars and bruises to go away and get better, and adjust to being alone. Be supportive, kind, and uplifting to survivors please.
